In Memory of an "Artist" and dearly loved childhood friend...Ian Fleming (Flem)...
RIP
🙏
The Treacle's Fun Adventures!
Inspired by true events... these short stories depict an intriguing juxtaposition between the dangerous, yet, hilarious daily lives of a Kid's Street Gang that began in 1966 and ended in 1976... !
A follow up book (sequel) expands on the story of the gang's transitioning into adulthood in 1976, unfolding the reality of Glum and Gloom, fraught with difficulties and disasters that will be told following this remarkable children's adventure story of: "The Tickle Treacle Gang!"
The book will also give an account of the only 'Treacle' that got away (in contrast to the rest of the 'Treacle's' that withered away), to successfully exit himself out of poverty and into "High Society."
This is a Treacle’s Story... From the one who got away! Spaghetti!
"Aye Right!"
"Come with us and enjoy the journey that began in 1966... with 5 loveable and adorable six year old "Tear-aways!"
"WE ARE YOUNG"...
"Chips" (His nickname because of his love for "Fish & Chip's); "Clumsy" (His nickname because of him being so Clumsy); "Nay-sos" (His nickname because of his hate for Tomato sauce); "Spaghetti" (His nickname because of his love for pasta) and their leader "Spud" (His nickname because of his love for Tatties).
1966, was the year 'The Tickle Treacle Gang' were formed and for 10 adventurous years up to and including 1976, they played like no others have ever played before... It was a MAGICAL time!
The gang who were all born and raised in Tickly Street, in Treacle Building, hence the name: 'The Tickle Treacle Gang,' were all raised by hard working and loving Italian mothers. And although "The Gang" lived in poverty, which was the 'norms' for many families back in those day's and appeared to look scruffy and neglected, they all developed an attitude back then, which was to simply: "Get on with things..." and nobody complained... Unlike today!
Nevertheless, although life in the 1960's was very much different to what it's like today, for example, today's technology and children's inescapable use of the computer, which could never have been imagined in the 1960's, life for many children during the 60's and 70's, although was tough, could offer something that today's kids could learn much from - WHICH IS TO ADVENTURE into a child's fascination of the "Unknown Journey of Play..." "Would you care to join us...!"
Enter at your Pearl... (CAN NOW BE READ)
Chapter 2
The Bullring and The Great Escape...
Chapter 3
The Hayloft and The Mop's Dilemma...
Chapter
1
Enter at your Pearl...
This is an astonishing children's story book, from which, there is a "No hold Barr!" The book details a journey and a child's story of a "No Return" that follows 5 "Treacles" from the "Tickle Treacle Gang...!" And in particularly from 1 Treacle that got away, whilst the rest withered away...This is the beginning of an adventure that today's Kid's need to know about... 'Enjoy the read... And Welcome to a new dawn! "
And it begins like this:
Once upon a time in the "Mert" (a cattle market where livestock are sold), whilst playing on the cattle pens/rails and at the same time remaining visual of the "Mop," who is an ugly, scary, giant of a man who thinks he's the “Gaffer” (a boss) of the "Mert," from which he is definitely not... "For who in their right mind would employ such a cruel, menacing and an uneducated cretin like the Mop to be a Gaffer ", quite simply no-one! The real "Gaffer" is a lovely old man called Sandy, who is kind, warm and a very caring person and especially towards children who enjoy playing in the “Mert” ... his “Mert.” The dreaded “Mop" is the complete opposite… he hates children so much that he is infamous for dishing out the "Shake," "Rattle" and "Roll," on children that he catches playing in the “Mert”. To explain the Shake, Rattle and Roll is not difficult...Should some unfortunate child become a victim of the Mop, he would first shake 'em, then he would rattle 'em, only to throw 'em into a pile of cow's dung crying... Such a wicked and horrible old 'Git' that he is... So kids'- look out… look out with your lives… You’ve been warned!
Children
would not dare enter the “Mert” ...unless their part of the Tickle Treacle Gang
- who dare to be fearless...Will they ever learn? Maybe not... as danger awaits
them.
The
gang, nevertheless, continued: playing; shouting; screaming; laughing and joking;
huffing and puffing with excitement ... it was exciting times - it was
electric...Yabadabadoooooo!!!!! It was seven weeks of school holiday's...
hooray! time to adventure...to play...to be naughty...Well, why not, it's
only fun and after all, they are only 'kids'...and doing what kids should be
doing... playing and having fun and seeking to adventure!
A
loud scream erupted from nowhere crying
out..."RUN"..."RUN"...It's - "The Mop" shouted
Spaghetti... "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" shouted Chips!!!
"RUN!!!!!!!!"
...
Spud's foot got stuck in one of the pen's..."Help" he screamed!!!!
HHHHHHHHELP!!!!!!
The Mop was running closer towards Spud shaking his clenched fists and yelling: "Your mine.......ha!ha!ha!.... I’ve got you...ha!ha!ha...! Your mine!!!!!"
"HHHHHHHHHHELP MEEEEE!!!!!!!" "HHHHHHHHHHHHELP!!!!!!!!" Shouted Spud...! Please someone HHHHHHHHHELP MEEEEEEEEE… HHHHHHHHHELP MEEEEEEEEEEE Gang…! Spud shouted fort one last time to his gang… Rescue me Treacle’s…. HHHHHHHHHELP!
C'mon Spud..."run" you've got to "run" shouted the gang...C'mon...Spud "get up"..."get up"...
The scary Mop was closing in on Spud and Spud was trembling with fear only to become hysterical when The Mop bent forward to grab him. "I’ve got you boy!" "I've got you…!" he shouted… "you're mine for the dung heap," he screamed and only after the shake, rattle and roll… ha! ha! ha! Boyyyyyyyyyy!!!
The rest of the gang were helpless as they looked on in shock. "Has Spud met his fate?" ... Clumsy, Chips and Spaghetti remained silent... "The Mop's going to BATTER him," said Chips... Spaghetti, Clumsy and Nay-sos gave Chips a nasty stare... Chips looked surprised oblivious to his cheeky comment, he then screamed - "look...!" Nay-sos then shouted loudly: "Run Spud!" Spaghetti shouted: "Run Spud!" Clumsy shouted: "Spud!" "You can do it!" Chips pooped his pants with fear and excitement.
The gang looked on as Spud somehow managed to escape from the clutches of the Mop, by rolling in-between the bottom of the pen's railing that took him into the next pen. Spud then calmly climbed over the top of the pen that paved his way for escape... "A Great Escape...." carried out in style! Spud is the leader of the gang because he's cool!
He's done it, cried Spaghetti-he's got away! Not so quickly, said Nay-sos- look...The Mop started climbing the railing to get into the next pen to get at Spud, but quick thinking Spud simply rolled under the bottom rail and into the next pen. The Mop who was so big and clumsy could not roll under the rail but instead had to climb over the top of the pen to catch him. There were 100 pens measuring approximately the size of a football pitch and climbing them was tiring him and Spud knew this. His fear of the Mop slowly began to disappear, as his confidence grew more and more... C'mon, C'mon...! C'mon, C'mon...! C’mon, C'mon - C'MON! Shouted Spud who began Teasing the Mop...The Mop tried and tried and tried, to catch Spud, shouting and swearing in the process, but to no avail... Spud was young, fit, lightly structured and above all...fast! The Mop had no chance of catching Spud, as he puffed and puffed and puffed until he could move no more… fatigue set in and crippled the Mop. C'mon you Stinky, Tinky, Minky, Skanky, Skunk! C'mon...catch me if you can yah Mink (which is a slang word describing a pauper) shouted Spud!
The
rest of the gang who were gaining confidence themselves taken from their leader
also joined in... C’mon, C'mon...! C’mon, C'mon...! C’mon, C'mon, C’MON! C’mon,
C'mon...! C’mon, C'mon...! C’mon, C'mon, C'MON! The gang then joined their
leader Spud in one of the pens and started teasing the Mop even more...by
making vulgar and rude gestures with their fingers...and singing out loud...'DO
YEAH WANNA BE IN OUR GANG, OUR GANG, OUR GANG, DO YEAH WANNA BE IN OUR GANG-OH
YEAHHHH!!! How naughty! The Mop, who was at this point a dejected man then
left, mumbling to himself...how he was going to make these boys pay for their
audacity he said. "I will make them pay, I will catch them somehow and
make them pay" he said quietly to himself.
"Guess
what, " said Spud..."what," came the reply from the gang.
"I've just thought of and have invented a game… and we'll call it Iron
Tigg." "IRON TIGG", the gang called out…"Yes" Spud
said - "IRON TIGG!" And so the game of Iron Tigg was invented in the
Mert in 1966 and continues to be played today, thanks to Spud and the
Mop.
"We'll
be like Danger Man," said Spud (an ITV series played in the 60's).
"Look - there are 100 pens measuring nearly the size of a football pitch,
right"..."okay," said the gang. "And there's livestock in
most of them," explained Spud..."Go on," said the gang.
"Well," said Spud... "The game is not to get Tigged or to touch
the ground with your feet!" "You can move in between the pens...or
climb over the pens...or roll underneath the rails, so long as you don't get
'Tigged' or touch the ground with your feet, in fact, you can even run on top
of the pens and on top of the cattle... just don't get Tigged and don't touch
the ground." Wow, said Clumsy...wow-the birth of 'Iron Tigg' invented in a
Stinky, Tinky, Minky, Mert...Wow, said the gang...Wow! "Yeah, WOW!"
Said Spaghetti..."BUT - should any of us fall inside a pen with all these
cattle...WOW!!! This is dangerous, crazy, mad...Someone's going to get
seriously hurt..." "Who cares" said the leader, Danger Man never
got hurt, anyway it's part of being adventurous... 'cos "we’re the TICKLE
TREACLE GANG.......Everyone laughed!
Chips interrupted the gang to tell them that it was his birthday and that he didn't want to tell them earlier for fear of getting the dumps..."HAPPY Birthday, " cried the gang - who were all in fits of laughter..."HAPPY BIRTHDAY"- Chips! they shouted, with fit's of laughter... Awe shucks, said Chips, who reminded the rest of the gang that it was nearly 1.30pm and time for watching "Bill & Ben" on BBC1...
The gang dashed off as quickly as they could..."See you all at 2 outside of the Bazzar" (a toy shop at the corner of Tickly street) shouted Chips..." And don't be late gang, 'cos we've got more laughs to be had," he shouted. Everyone was laughing, shouting and calling one another funny names, as they entered their close the entrance to their homes. "Back to the Mert and the Bullring after this," shouted Spaghetti....Yehhhhhhhh! Shouted everyone else..."The Bullring!!!!!" Just before they disappeared into their houses, on the 2nd and 3rd landing of Treacle Building on Tickly Street, Spaghetti shouted out at Spud who was standing below him on the 2nd landing telling him that he's getting..."THIS!" and "THAT!" and "THAT!" and "THIS!" Pointing to his boot and fist, all in fun, as the gang then all joined in shouting from both landings that everyone's getting "THIS" with a clenched fist..."THAT"...pointing towards their boot..."THIS"...pointing at a head butt..."THAT"...a Karate Chop..."THIS"...a Kung Fu kick...everyone chuckled and shouted out..."WE'RE THE TICKLE TREACLE GANG !!!!" Agnus Mcmuffin, Betty McClafferty, Hilda Mcbelly and Mildred Mcnobbly all peered over the railings of the 4th landing each yelling at the top of their voices for the gang to: 'ZIP IT! ‘...’STITCH IT! ‘...’CLAMP IT! ‘...’BUTTON IT!'... And to 'SHUT UP!' The gang quietly went into their houses and closed the door behind them.
During lunch, Spud and his brothers Bert and Bob had their usual... "MINCE & BLOODY TATTIES AGAIN!"
Bert and Bob hated mince and tatties unlike Spud who loved tatties, especially mashed tatties. Bert and Bob looked at each other without reservation, wishing their father was Italian like their mother knowing that the only food their father can cook is "Mince and Tatties..." Spud shouted out: “It’s food isn't it…!" "Get it doon ye!" Bert and Bob started eating their mince and tatties cooked by dad convincing themselves that Teatime will feature Italian cuisine when mum gets home from working round the clock... Real food...!
Chip's had his favourite Fish and Chips," prepared by his very own Italian "Granny Smithinini" and her Scottish husband "Popsi. “...”YUMMY, YUMMY...GERRRIT DOON YEEE," he shouted out! Clumsy had his lunch "a bag of chips with loads of 'fish crispy's'... And that's that! What's for Supper?
Spaghetti, alias "Spaghet" loved his food- "YOU DANCER," he belted out... Spaghetti's mother also being an Italian who arrived in Scotland with Spud, Nay-SoS and Clumsy's mum, cooked homemade " LASAGNA"... with that special taste of Italy..."YUMMY YUMMY YUM, YUM," "SPAGHET" never went hungry...
Nevertheless, as for Nay-sos and his pet dog "Patch" (the only dog in the neighbourhood who wore an eye patch), they too had their usual lunch ..."NOTHIN…! " His dad who was a degenerative gambler, gambled all the money his Italian mum worked very hard for, he never did have luck in his side.... However, as fate had it, the tide turned when his dad sadly got knocked down by a Double Decker bus and received financial compensation... Only then did he eat well...! Only then did he eat healthily…! only then did he taste the flavours of expensive authentic Italian food… And only then was he a very happy ‘filled belly’ Treacle… sadly this was not to last.
Somehow his
father stole the money that was hidden away in their house and once again
gambled it all away… Nay-sos cried and his Italian mother filed for divorce…”
Good Stuff,” said Nay-sos!
After "Lunch" and watching in black and white - Kid's TV: "WATCH WITH MOTHER" (without MUM), the gang made their way to the "Bazaar," a cheap toy shop owned by a mildly kind man...Mr McClafferty (Betty's husband), who allows kids to play with the toys in his shop… “free of charge!”
The
Gang all had fun playing in the Bazaar and once finished, said bye to Mr
McClafferty, who warmly waved them goodbye, inviting them all back soon…” Come
back soon do you hear!” said Mr McClafferty, as the Gang made their way back to
the Mert.
"Oye Treacle’s, " shouted Spud… "Let's play" 'Condie,' Condie, ' before we go back to the Mert… "Great idea, " shouted the gang… A "Brilliant idea" shouted Clumsy… "Brilliannnnnntttttt!"
The game: 'Condie,' 'Condie,' is played similar to Tig, but involves using street condies as a home base... a safety zone… a place where you can’t get Tigged (caught) when being chased… a sanctuary. The game is played so that if a person is Tigged (caught), they then become the pursuer. The Tickle Treacle Gang loved playing Condie, Condie…!
(Illustration)
After play, Mr Lumsdung the owner of the Sweetie shop, which is situated next door to the Bazaar, enjoyed watching The Tickle Treacle Gang playing so much that he came out of his shop with freshly made orange juice just for them… "Drink up kid's," he said in a soft spoken mild mannered voice..."Drink up!"
Yummy, Yummy, said the gang…Once finished, the gang
thanked Mr Lumsdung for the free drinks. The leader Spud called for the gang to return to the Mert… “Let’s go gang, back to the Mert,” he shouted!
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh! “Look out Mop” … “We’re coming back,” shouted the gang, who were
no longer as scared of the Mop as they once were before and laughed all the way back
to the Mert...sensing further excitement and further trouble. Coming closer to the Mert, tension began to manifest when Chips spoke about the frightening, "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
"C'mon gang!" "We're The Tickle Treacle Gang, and we're scared of nothing," said their leader... "Let's go," he bravely shouted... "C'mon Moppy Yah Mink!" he shouted loudly.
Chapter 2
“The Bullring and The Great Escape!”
On their way back to the Mert, the gang all looked up at the roof tops of the tenement buildings and saw hundreds upon hundreds of hay bale strings attached to turnip stalks shaped like a "Lasso" that was stuck in the gutters... "What a sight for sore eyes," said the leader, Spud. "Yeah, but it was great fun playing Cowboys with our home made Lassos like Zorro and the Lone Ranger," said Nay-sos, making his way back to the grim and forbidding, but magical stinking Mert singing: "The Mop's a Stinky, Tinky, and a Minky, Winky." The gang laughed and laughed and joined in the sing song, as they all marched back to the Mert still remaining vigil of the terrifying scary and ugly looking Mop.
Before entering into the Mert and heading towards the "Bullring," the gang stopped off at The Mert’s Hotel, which is next door to the Mert and part of the Mert. The "Bar area " is where all the Mert workers, including the Scary Mop would go to socialise with a beer or 2 or 3 or 4 or 20 or 30... that always culminated in fights, together with brawls. "Fighhhhtin at its best they say is in the "Mert's Bar!"
And more often than not, the gang would be there also to pick up any pennies that fell out of the pockets of the men fighting to treat themselves at The Lumsdung Sweety Shop... Yummy! Yummy!
The Mert worker's are a tough and rough breed of smelly workers and heavy drinkers who are always angry... with the Mop being the angriest! Nobody was surprised at this, as everyone knew the angry Mert workers are always angry because of having to work in stinking Poo all day... "Yeuch!"
"C'mon gang, let's get out of here," Spud said. 'Yeah!" said Spaghetti,"Let's get to the Bullring," and off they went... "To the Bullring!" they all shouted! Making there way out of the Merts Bar, Chips sat down on a large beer keg just outside of the Merts Hotel holding onto his foot. "Gang," he shouted, "I've sprained my ankle, let's sit down for a minute." Being in a bit of pain, he was cursing and swearing! Spud went over and sat next to him and asked if his foot was swollen, Chips said no and began counting the money that fell out of the pockets of the two Mert workers who were fighting. Spud did the same as the rest of the gang also sat down counting theirs.
Nay-sos had 3 pennies, 1 sixpence and 1 threepence . Spaghetti had 2 sixpence's and 3 pennies and together they had 2 shilling's and a threepence. Spud had 2 sixpence's and 2 threepence's and Chips had 4 threepence's and a penny that totalled 2 shillings and 7 pennies. Clumsy found nothing and didn't care much, as he was more interestingly occupied in playing with the beer Keg's with his pencil. By pressing down on top of a beer Keg where the beer pumps are inserted with a pointed object, Clumsy began releasing air together with drops of beer... Beer, Clumsy thought... Mmm! Interesting!
Whilst the money was being shared evenly amongst the gang by Chips, Spud was watching what Clumsy was doing and asked to borrow his pencil. Copying what Clumsy was doing and after trying several kegs, Spud found a near to full keg of beer. Ho! Ho! Ho! Spud shouted out... "Gang!" he yelled out... "Look what I've found!" Beer! Clumsy retorted to Spud - No! "I found the beer!" "Who cares," said Spud... "Let's get drunk...!" Every one found a small piece of stick to use to press the button on top of a Keg where pumps in a bar are normally inserted into and found by pressing the button, small amounts of beer filled the cylinder head that acts as a pocket for the gang to sip the beer from... The gang had turns about in sipping the beer until they all felt intoxicated...They were drunk! They then all fell asleep. "As drunk as a Skunk!" One would say! They were all paralytic... and if their mums found out... Then it would be... No more Mert!
Note: The 4 shillings and 10 penny's or 58 penny's found in the Merts Pub, was equivalent to today's monetory value of £17, as of 2023. That's a lot of money to find for 8 year old children... They didn't complain!
After a brief nap, the gang awoke without the splitting headache one would imagine that's normally associated with being intoxicated... but was, instead, "Excited! " The gang was so excited with the thought of entering the Bullring...they all became very, very, ecstatic with an ambience of euphoria... "Let's go..."shouted the gang...! "The Bullring!"
After much deliberation with several publishers... "The Adventures of the Tickle Treacle Gang" has re-started and is no longer put on hold... The time is now right for publication but regrettably some of those involved, sadly, will no longer be around to see the finished work .... RIP 🙏.
Other Children's short stories of the treacle's adventures will include:
- THE MERT and THE SCARY MOP! (To be Published on December 2023 or possibly by March 2024 at the latest).
- COPS AND ROOFS!
- THE TICKLE, NICKLE AND PICKLE GANG!
- THE LORRIES & ORCHARD RAIDING!
- THE RIVER & TYRES & SKIVING SKALE (SCHOOL)!
- THE 'SWEETY MAN' & THE 26318 ARCADE!
- THE BONFIRE & THE CARRIE!
- CATCH THE RABBITS!
- CHOO, CHOO TRAINS & GANG HUT!
- THE GB CLUB & BUNTER'S CRESCENT
- THE HIGH SKALE's 'ERCHIE & TEACHIES!
- 1976 - THE END OF A "MAGICAL" CHILDHOOD!
During his time on the run as a fugitive, Clumsy learnt to write Poetry. Unfortunately for him...time ran out before his work reached out for him to become a millionaire... All proceeds of his work, however, went to the Dog's Kennel that host's Vikki's pups and all their doggy pals... all of whom are living happily ever after at the Kennel. In 1999, however, Vikki's pups and all their pals refused to be re- homed as pets and wrote letters of a complaint to "Brandy's pups" who lived at Buckingham Palace. Clumsy... RIP!
Living life in poverty but having so much fun... came 5 tearaway street kid's who were always on the run.Running from the authorities and running from the cops and running from the "big boys" who were trying to steal our crops.Transitioning into adulthood the curtains drew to a close... for the dark side of life for all but one, was anything we chose.Slopping out with disgust, came a reality that's for sure, along with memories of "Us Lot," fighting in the sewar.
The cold and glazing look of others, came a terrible feel of worried mothers, for from humble beginnings of a childhood ride, came living life in a darker side.
For the one who got away to the rest that fell away, take heed of my advice and live a normal life...
"Nut - No Way Jose!"
Patch ran off with a Bunny rabbit and had BunPupps!
MEMORIES!"
(c)Text copy right Alex Wasinowicz 2011
